


and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath

by exhibit



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, Juno AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-20
Updated: 2013-09-20
Packaged: 2017-12-27 04:04:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/974113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exhibit/pseuds/exhibit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>an unexpected pregnancy puts the two teens in a position they never thought about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath

it was the middle of september when the + on the stick showed up super bright and like a relief against the white, just glaring at her and she felt her stomach flip and she was hunching over the toilet as the contents of her breakfast fell into the bowl with a splash like her body was punctuating what the white stick was telling her and lexi found that to be a bit mocking.  
she capped the stick and slid it into her back pocket and washed her hands before unlocking the convenience store’s bathroom before slapping down a fiver on the counter and quickly leaving the door, avoiding the attendants call of her change.  
lexi found herself heading to niall’s, the pregnancy test in her back pocket burning her as she thought of all the ways to tell niall and his reaction.

she slowly came to a stop in front of the two story white house, its yard was perfect green and manicured just right with two shiny cars in the driveway and she thought this was the moment she was going to ruin niall’s perfect picturesque life. he was no longer going to be the footballer or the musician but now, he was gonna be a baby daddy who worked at the music shop downtown on weekends.  
she slightly felt guilty about that.

*

so instead, she sprinted down the sidewalk, getting away from niall’s house as fast as possible and soon as she was in the comfort of her bedroom with the door locked, she flopped down on her bed and scrolled through her contacts and pressed talk on perrie’s name.

“i’m pregnant.” she blurted out as soon as perrie answered, no point in beating around the bush she pulled the phone away at the loud squeal.

“pregnant?”

“yeah. niall’s.”

“get it. when did that happen?”

lexi pursed her mouth as her hand rested on her still flat stomach.”like a month ago.”

“slag. how was it?”

lexi could practically see the smile on perrie’s face with her eyebrows waggling and lexi’s mouth tugged upwards at the corners.“it was good. like really amazing.”

and really, it was good but it was a complicated mess especially now. and she wasn’t exactly sure how it happened, they were buzzing on cheap beer, pizza and fifa and then after she scored a goal, niall tackled her to the floor and then she pulled him down and kissed the beer off his tongue and before she knew it, their clothes were hitting the floor.

“do you know what you’re gonna do?”

lexi tugged her bottom lip between her teeth.”i’ll let you know monday.”

“see ya monday.”

*

morning was such a drag as she spent the last fifteen minutes in the girl’s bathroom puking her guts up and have the girls look at her with that look of knowing. she fixed her smudged make up before heading to her locker and pulling out her books and then niall was standing beside her, low slung shorts on his hips, a green tank top and his favorite snapback snapped on the bottom of his backpack’s strap as he couldn’t wear it during school hours.

“is it true?”

lexi side eyed him and shrugged.”be more specific.”

“that you’re-” he stopped and made a hand motion toward her waist and she raised an eyebrow.

“oh, you mean pregnant? is that what everyone is saying?” she removed one of her backpack shoulder straps and swung it around and dug inside before pressing the weekend’s pregnancy test against his chest.”congratulations, you’re a father.”  
she slammed her locker before turning around and niall called after her but she wasn’t ready to see his face just yet. she didn’t even know what she would say to him and she could already feel the pinpricks of tears hitting the back of her eyelids.

*

lunch was a bit of a relief for lexi as she had felt a bit nauseous since third block and since it was such a nice day out, she situated herself under a tall tree in the quad and halfway through her turkey sandwich, a shadow loomed over her and she looked up and saw niall standing there.

“mind if I sit?”

she shook her head as she took a sip of her water.

he slung his backpack off and sat criss-cross in front of her, his hands idly picking blades of grass from the ground.”what are we gonna do?”

she met his blue eyes as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.”i was thinking that maybe i’d take care of it before a baby comes.”

“which would happen because you’re pregnant.”

“right.” she gave him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes as she finished off her sandwich.”you’re ok with that, right?”

“oh. yeah. i mean if that’s what you want.”

she nodded as she gathered up her lunch trash and her backpack before standing up and leaving niall sitting there with a handful of grass.

 

*

lexi set up the appointment for the abortion at the health center in the next town and she was nervous about the whole thing but it was best for her and for niall, neither one was ready for a baby and then they could go on with their lives and put this behind them. a distant memory.

but once she entered the center, it smelled like antiseptic and bleach and it burned her nose. she signed in and was handed papers to fill out and she looked around the room, the typical medical posters were on the walls which were a sickly blue and she took a seat in the plastic chair and scribbled her name on the first line as her eyes looked over all the questions and then it hit her that inside her right now was a blob the size of a pea that would soon be a living and breathing person, a baby who would cry and laugh and smile and have features mixed between her and niall and the thought about it not being born anymore, made her sick to her stomach.

and she bolted from the center without giving a notice and headed for perrie’s and as soon as the front door was open, lexi pushed her way inside and turned to perrie. “i couldn’t go through with it. i’m gonna stay pregnant. it smelled like hospital and i freaked out. by now it could have like a heartbeat and hair and fingernails and i just. i couldn’t.

perrie quirked an eyebrow up at her.”you’re sixteen for fuck’s sake, how are you gonna raise a baby?”

lexi shrugged as she hadn’t thought the plan all the way through yet, just that she couldn’t abort it.”maybe i could like give it to a couple who can’t have kids, a wife with a bummed ovary or something. maybe a gay couple.”

perrie pulled lexi into a hug and rubbed her back as lexi relaxed into her and then perrie pulled back and smiled.”let’s find this spawn some parents.” 

and lexi really smiled for the first time since the test came back positive, it was such a relief to have a friend like perrie.

*

lexi sat on a bench, a loaded hotdog in one hand as she searched the classifieds in the other. perrie sat next to her, a slushie in one hand with a different newspaper in the other as they both searched for the perfect adoptive parents.

perrie twisted around to lexi.”here’s one, _couple seeking an infant to join our family of six. you will be compensated. help us complete our family._

lexi took a bite of her hotdog and shook her head.”cult” she flipped the page of the newspaper over. 

“ _wholesome and spiritual newlyweds looking to be blessed with a miracle._ "

“barf.” lexi made a face.”i just don’t wanna push this kid off to a family just because they claim they’re wholesome or whatever. i wanna give this kid to a family who’s gonna let them be who they want to be and nurture that. maybe a hipster or a punk rocker.”

lexi scanned the pages, the only sounds were the chirping of a few birds and the loud slurping from perrie’s almost empty slushie when she saw the black and white photo, two men smiling happily; nothing too cheesy and they looked perfect. 

“bingo.” lexi stuffed the last remainders of her hotdog into her mouth, wiping her fingers on her jeans when she turned the paper around and showed perrie with a smile.

*

lexi was sat at the dinner table, her dad at one end and her mom at the other. she had been trying to decide when to tell the harping news and it never seemed like a good time to break the news that their 16 year old daughter was pregnant but she knew she couldn’t keep this a secret forever; perrie had offered to be there for moral support but lexi needed to do this on her own.

she lowered her forkful of garlic mashed potatoes and grabbed her glass of water and guzzled it down, both her parents looked on and she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“i’m pregnant.” she rushed out and closed her eyes, waiting for the shock of her parents to wear off. after a second, she reopened them and both her parents looked like they were in a state of perpetual shock.”let’s not all get excited at once.” she mumbled as she picked her fork back up and shoved it into her mouth.

“pregnant?” her mouth looked at her, mouth agape and eyebrows almost at her hairline and she could feel her father’s eyes on her and she nodded.

“who’s the father?”

lexi turned her eyes towards her dad.”niall.”

“horan? bobby’s kid?”

lexi nodded as she wiped her mouth on her napkin.”and look, i know this is not an ideal situation but i’m gonna put it for adoption. i’ve already found a couple who wants it.”

“lexi. i just. you’re so young and you have an entire future ahead of you. there is another option.”

“i know couldn’t do it. this is the right decision.” she turned to her mom and gave a firm nod as this was the final say in what was to happen.

“what are the kids at school going to say? especially knowing it was that irish kid. always causing trouble.”

lexi’s mouth turned into a tight line.”maybe that i like that irish kid?” she dropped her fork, wiped her mouth and scooted the chair back, hopefully scratching their polished wooden floor.”and for the record, niall isn’t a bad kid.” she rolled her eyes as she stomped up the stairs.

as far as telling their parents that you’re pregnant, lexi thought it went well.

*

niall was on the pitch, wiping sweat from his brow as he got his breath. he jogged to the sideline when he saw josh was waiting on him.

“fantastic goalie skills there, mate.”

niall cuffed josh on the arm and pulled the front of his jersey away from his sticky skin.”let me shower and i’ll be ready to go.”

josh nodded as he walked with niall back to the locker rooms.”oh, man. did you hear about lexi holmes?”

niall nodded as he shoved his hand through his damp hair.”yeah. it’s mine.” 

josh stopped. with his mouth parted in shock.”what? why didn’t you tell me?” 

niall sighed, he made a face and shrugged as he turned around, hand on his hip.”i just. didn’t wanna make a big deal about it. she’s dealing with it and it’s whatever.”

josh slightly shoved niall’s chest.”dude. is that what you want?”

“i don’t think it really matters what i want. what am i gonna do with a baby now? it’s better off with whatever lexi does with it."

josh threw an arm around niall’s shoulders.”you stink. after you shower, i’ll getcha proper smashed.”

and nothing sounded better to niall’s ears.

 

*

as september passed, october came and so did the smell of crisp leaves and decaf pumpkin spice lattes that warmed lexi’s bones on chilly mornings. long sweaters that hid her belly just enough that she didn’t get too many stares.

and with october came halloween and the school was having its annual halloween fun fair and lexi would have most definitely preferred to stay home and watch the old halloween movies or friday the 13th but perrie had other plans and lexi wasn’t for sure but she had a suspicion it was more than not to see that art kid zayn.

and for lexi’s troubles, perrie had promised to stuff her with popcorn and cotton candy and all the caramel apples her belly could stand. also, funnel cakes.

she sat at the picnic tables eating all the delicious carnival foods while perrie was off snogging zayn on the ferris wheel when lexi stood up and gathered her trash before she caught sight of niall. and niall was making his way over, leaving josh and some ginger named ed in line.

“lexi. you’re looking bigger.”

“oh. yeah. it tends to happen when you’re carrying around another person that i can’t drop off.” and lexi could see the flush on niall’s cheeks.”so. uh. going to ride the scrambler?”

niall nodded as he jutted his thumb behind him.”yeah. just josh and ed.”

“perrie’s floating around somewhere.” and then it hit her like a freight train, she could feel the bile burning her throat, the way her stomach heaved and niall pulled his brows together as he grabbed her arm.

“are you-”

and before he could finish, lexi lurched over and the contents of her stomach landed on his white surpas.”oh god. niall.” she wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her jumper.”shit. niall. i’m sorry. it just hit me and i.” she shook her head as he shook his head, running his hand through his hair.

“no. it’s okay. i just. it’s not everyday i have someone puke on my shoes.”

but luckily, they found a water spout next to the portaloos and it wasn’t the best but at least most of her blown chunks were cleaned from his shoes and she walked with him back to ed’s car.

“i better get back before perrie starts wondering where i went.” 

niall nodded as he saw josh and ed coming out of the carnival ground.”yeah. i guess i’ll see you in school?”

lexi nodded and flashed niall a smile.”lunch.”

*

it was november when lexi met the styles-tomlinson’s, they lived in the english countryside, about forty minutes from the city and as her and her dad pulled up the house, a white fence around the entire property and all the land filled with bright green grass and colorful wildflowers growing, Lexi knew she had picked the right couple for this.

the doorbell chimed and then the door opened and a man with cheekbones to kill for with bright blue eyes and a warm smiled answered the door, he instantly looked down and saw the swell of a baby bump.

“lexi.” he nodded as he held the door open wider, letting them step in. and then a man with a mop of brown ringlets joined them, his smile bright and infectious.”i’m louis and this is harry.” and then a third man entered the picture, wearing gray slacks and a white button up.”and that is liam payne, our attorney.”

lexi looked puzzled as why their attorney needed to be present and harry must have noticed because he cleared his throat and toed liam.

“right. lou and harry are willing to opt for an open adoption if that’s something that you would prefer.”

lexi’s eyes went a bit wide as she shook her head and looked between harry and louis.”oh. no, no, no. just popping this thing out and handing it over is good enough.” she made a popping noise with her mouth for emphasis, she saw the two boys grip hands and liam nodded, clearing his throat a bit.

“you have to understand though, it’s not that cut and dry. sometimes once the woman gets further along, she forms a bond and backs out and leaving the expecting couple devastated.”

and then it clicked for lexi as she saw the looks cross both louis and harry’s face, this had happened to them before.”oh! no. i would never do that. i’m a hundred percent on board to give this baby to you guys.” and that for now seemed to put the boys at ease and lexi excused herself to use their bathroom.

as she rounded the flight of stairs, she caught the inside of an office, it faced the backyard which was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen, leaves covered most of the ground and she could only imagine snow covering the vast land. 

but it was the walls that shocked her. books. so many books lined the walls and it smelled of printing paper and bookbindings and home on an autumn day.

“we were beginning to think you fell in the toilet.”

louis’ voice startling her as lexi turned quickly, almost knocking a photo off the desk but catching it between her hands and she looked down, it was harry and louis but much younger, barely twenty, smiling brightly like they saw forever in their eyes. 

“you guys sure have been together a long time.”

louis nodded as he hopped onto the edge of the desk, lexi taking the rolling chair.”almost fifteen years.”

“why do you want kids?”

louis quirked an eyebrow.”is this a pre-adoption interrogation?”

lexi’s mouth fluttered open and closed and louis smiled and shook his head.”kidding. but we’ve always wanted kids but we were never approved for a donor and every adoption just flopped.”

they heard their names being called and louis stood, helping her up too and she turned and faced him.”english teacher?” she guessed.

“professor.” 

“i like the books. they smell good.” 

*

it was early december when lexi pulled up into the driveway, behind the range rover and climbed out and waddled up to the door and rang the doorbell and then the door swung open and louis stood with a smile, black plastic frame glasses on his face.

“lexi.”

“professor.” she gave a small wave as she stepped inside, toeing her shoes off. the house smelled delicious and warm and she followed louis into the kitchen, she took a seat at the bar counter while he opened the oven, checking on the lasagne.

“where’s harry?” she asked as she looked around the kitchen was cozy and nice and spacious. louis pulled up the stool next to her as he sipped a glass of wine.

“getting art supplies. harry’s an artist.” louis stood up and beckoned her to follow him down to the basement which had been turned into an all out art studio, huge canvases hung on the walls while others were in the mix of being completed, paint was splattered on the floor and everything in between.

“oh, wow.” she leaned over to admire some of the work, it was all abstract, just streaks of color mingling on the canvas and she wondered what it was like looking through harry’s eyes, it must be breathtaking. she stood upright and grabbed louis’ hand.”c’mon.”

when they entered the kitchen again, she reached into her bag and pulled out the black and white photograph.”you can’t tell what it is but i thought that could be a surprise for the two of you.” she shoved the photo in louis’ hands and 

“i just. i’m like really serious about giving this baby to you both. 

louis pressed the photo to his chest.”i hope because i can't have my boy’s heart broken again.”

*

harry stood in the center of the room with his head cocked to the side, four stripes of color on the white wall, the sonogram photo framed and sitting on the white dresser in the corner.

louis came up behind him and wrapped his arms around harry’s waist, snuggling his face in harry’s muscular back.

“i really like _creme de mint_. but _in your eyes_ is nice too. maybe-”

“maybe it’s too soon to paint.” louis mumbled into harry’s back and harry shrugged him off and turned around and crossed his arms over his chest, making himself look taller.

“what do you mean too soon? in just a few short months-”

“i know but that doesn’t guarantee us the baby.”

harry’s jaw set.”you think she’s gonna back out.” and louis doesn’t say anything and that just confirmed it for harry.”jesus christ. do you think you could be a bit positive about this? that maybe this is our chance or is that just it? you don’t wanna get my hopes up because you really don’t care because you don’t even wanna have kids with me.”

“is that. i mean you honestly think that? fuck, harry. i’ve been with you since i was barely eighteen and i’ve never wanted anything more with you than having kids. we were meant to have little feet running around and it’s the whole reason we opted to move way out here.” he tugged at harry’s holey shirt and harry opened his arms and welcomed louis against his chest.”i like the yellow looking color.”

“ _sunburst_.”

“yeah, _sunburst_.”

*

christmas came and so did the new year and lexi was about the size of a beached whale. perrie had been dating zayn since winter hols and they looked simply gorgeous together, lexi couldn’t have been more excited for perrie.

“you should still come with us to spring fling.” perrie nodded as she popped a chip into her mouth and lexi made a face.

“yeah, it’d be cool if you came. i know a few guys who wouldn’t mind taking you.”

lexi made a noise and shook her head.”oh, i bet that would do wonders for the gossip bin.”

perrie kicked at lexi’s shin.”you’re my best friend and i really want you there. zayn could take us both! i don’t mind.”

and perrie’s eyes were the size of baby worlds and lexi honestly didn’t think she had the heart to say no with that look. but it also helped that she saw amy greene hug niall from across the lunch room.

“oh, jesus christ. ok. i’ll think about it.” she stood up, grabbing her lunch tray and quickly disposed of it.

*

“so you and amy, huh?”

niall slammed his locker and turned around to see lexi standing there.”what?”

“i saw you and her in the lunchroom. i also heard you asked her to the spring fling dance.”

“yeah? was i supposed to ask you?”

and that just felt like a slap to her face.”i think it’s a little late if you didn’t want everyone to know that you liked the pregnant girl.”

“maybe if you had looked at the entire picture before cutting me out, you would know that i’m in love with you.” niall sighed at the confession.”god, lexi. i’ve loved you since i transferred. you’re just. everything that i’ve ever wanted and then. you just pushed me away.” 

“don’t say shit like that to me.”

“stop acting like a jealous girlfriend because i didn’t ask you to some stupid dance.”

and that’s when she took a step back from him with the realization that he was right.”have fun at the dance. i’m sure you and amy will make a great fucking couple.” then she was storming out of the school.

*

it was the first weekend in march when lexi and perrie were walking around boots, both had a bit too much sugar floating in their bellies but it had been so long that lexi felt like a normal teenager. perrie had found the cutest little cotton candy blue dress and it made her eyes bluer than ever and it it went well with her platinum blonde hair.

lexi tuned perrie out as she got a glimpse of a feathery fringe with a maroon beanie covering his hair and perrie must have noticed as she nudged lexi.”who is that?”

‘it’s, uh, louis.”

“he’s gorgeous, oh my god. let’s go say hi.” perrie grabbed lexi’s wrist as she tried to protest but it was really too late as louis turned around and saw them and a smile came onto his face.

“lexi. hi. what’re you doing in london?”

“shopping for a dress. i’m being roped into going to the spring fling dance.” she gestured towards perrie.”this is perrie.” 

the two quickly shook hands.”oh, harry’s around somewhere.” he nodded as he took a look around, trying to spot the flop of curly hair no doubt.”we're just about to go to dinner, you guys wanna join us?

“we would love too but i’m afraid we’ll have to take a raincheck. i still gotta find a dress.” lexi quickly answered before perrie could impose on the couple and louis nodded with a smile.

“yeah, we would love that.”

lexi’s hand quickly went to the side of her expanded belly and she saw the curious look on louis’ face.”oh, the little thing is kicking up a storm.” she, without thinking, reached for his hand and pressed it to the side of her belly and the look of awe that came to louis’ face almost made lexi reach out and caress his beautiful face.”you can also talk to the baby? it can recognize voices already. try it.” she urged louis and it took just a second before louis was squatting down on his knees and cradling her belly in his hands and talking ever so softly to the baby inside.

then she saw harry, standing still just a few feet from there, watching.“harry.” she smiled and waved him over and louis looked over his shoulder with a huge smile and reached out when harry was close enough and pulled him down on the ground and harry’s big hand spanned across her belly and she could feel the jabs from the feet on the inside and the way harry’s green eyes went clear, made her heart soar and knew she had chosen the right couple.

they would be everything she couldn’t be and she let the tears spill over her bottom lashline and perrie’s hand slipped into hers.

*

that night, lexi found herself heading for niall’s bedroom, she could hear the sound of guitar from the hall and she stopped and listened, forgetting how niall would try to teach her chords, his callous fingers moving over the frets like a pro. she knocked on the bedroom door and pushed it open.”your mum let me in.”

niall put the guitar up on the bed from his position on the floor.”you’re about ready to pop.”

she eased down on the floor next to him.”horan, you’ve always had such a way with words.” she jabbed his side with her elbow.”so i know things have been kinda weird lately but after this is over, i kinda wanna come see you play football, see you wow the crowd with the band. i just miss you. and us.”

“what? you love me now?”

“don’t be a twat. but i think i’ve always loved you. ever since i first heard you talk in your stupid irish accent. and i know i messed things up when i pushed you away but i just. i don’t think i could have done what i’m doing with you around. don’t get me wrong, this is the right decision but i would have fucked your life up and you would have resented me. maybe not now but five. ten years down the road. i couldn’t have you hating me.”

“when we’re older and i’m able to support us, we’ll have one. of our own.” niall nodded and lexi smiled and he pulled her into his side, her head on his shoulder.

*

the spring fling dance was a on breezy saturday the last weekend in march and even though lexi had been reluctant to go, she had to admit it was fun; dancing and laughing along with perrie and zayn even if zayn was a shit dancer.

she had spotted niall once or twice with amy and it hurt.

*

lexi was more than ready to get this thing out of her; every part of her body ached and she hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks. she had her history book propped on her belly as she chewed on a licorice rope when she felt the warm liquid spreading through her joggers, her book fell to the floor as she sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.”oh. shit” she stood up, cradling the bottom of her belly as she opened her bedroom door and called for her mum.

*

patrick benjamin styles-tomlinson was born just hours later. he had shocking blue eyes and dark sparse hair but he was beautiful. he was plopped onto lexi’s chest and she cradled the tiny baby for a few minutes, taking him in before kissing his forehead.”you’re gonna go meet your daddies.” and then he was whisked away and lexi felt the strong emotion overcome her as she cried, feeling so empty.

*

lexi was being shaken awake by niall, still in his footie uniform and still sweat drenched from the first game of the season.”you alright?” he asked her as he crawled into the hospital bed with her and she nodded as she cuddled into him, he smelled like spice and grass and shockingly familiar.

“yeah, he was so beautiful though. he had your eyes.”

niall kissed her forehead and petted her hair as he laid with her.

*

louis and harry stood at the nursery window as they looked on at their new baby, patrick was perfect in every way. five toes and five fingers and all working parts. he had looked so small in harry’s arms but he looked like he belonged and that’s all that mattered.

he looked up at them through the glass, like he knew he was theirs, and louis couldn’t keep the smile off his face that this little bundle of life was theirs, finally. harry wrapped his arm around louis’ waste.”i can’t wait to bring him home with us.”

and louis couldn’t either.

*

a month later and school was over, lexi barely passing everything but passed she did. she spent most of her time with niall now, going to all his gigs with ed and josh and cheering him on from the bleachers at his footie games. and perrie and zayn were going strong and they were amazing to be around until they got their mouths on each other and then it just made everyone sick.

she kicked off her shoes and threw her jacket off as she rifled through the mail, a letter was addressed to her from the styles-tomlinson’s and she carefully opened the envelope and inside was a family photo of the three, the two gorgeous males beaming with a wide awake patrick propped against harry’s chest.

two simple words were scrawled onto the card.

_thank you_

and lexi didn’t think she had ever felt so proud.

**Author's Note:**

> first niall fic! please be gentle and let me know how it was? thank you x


End file.
